The past couple of months I've been on anti-depressants due to severe depression, I've suffered from insomnia and sleep apnea. It's hard to pin-point exactly where my mood has gone downhill. I've got lots of friends although there are only a handful I keep in touch with on a daily basis and the other friends I rarely see witness me in a state of intoxication due to excessive amounts of alcohol.
I think I'm losing touch with my friends and family, since my Dad is always at work I never seem to spend as much time with him than I should do. I only keep in contact with a handful of family members.
I'm not sure if I just need a break away from England, I've never actually been abroad to another country... except for Wales for the FA Cup Final back in 2004. I would love to tour America and Japan, even better if I could perform my music there.
The absence of a relationship hurts me more than anything, it seems as though no matter what I try I never seem to get anywhere. I lost an excessive amount of weight in the second half of 2010 in an attempt to improve my confidence with women and my self esteem. A year and a half later I'm still in the same predicament and I'm wondering if I wasted my time and effort.
I find comfort in music, I prefer subtle tones and mellow moods contrary to heavy bass and loud drum beats nowadays. There was a time when my Ipod was filled with "Old Skool Rave and Hardcore" from 1988-1994 and I used to love 1970s and 1980s Dancehall music from the Caribbean. Nowadays I'm listening to purely independent music with the odd mainstream song from Pre-2002.
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